Comments on: Surprise and Suspense

By: Cindy

Cindy — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 18:39:18 +0000

What if she’s racing to get to her son and sees a train coming. Not wanting to stop for it she speeds up in an attempt to get across the tracks before the train gets there.

Wouldn’t that add extra suspense?

By: Louis Robinson

Louis Robinson — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:08:04 +0000

and here i was, going “what’s so arbitrary about getting stuck waiting for a freight train? it’s happened to me doz…”. it did click, finally: how many readers grew up on the Prairies, where 150-car trains are a regular sight, and even rather large cities are lousy with level crossings, some of them still found in the core. Not many, really. Even the people who grew up in small towns elsewhere are often too young to remember a working railway, while big-city folk would be wondering why there was no viaduct or some other grade separation like they are used to seeing if there are any tracks left at all.

All of which is a long-winded way of pointing out that plausiblility is very much in the mind of the reader. On top of that, secrets and suspense can both be nonexistant if the writer isn’t careful, simply because some readers know things the author didn’t plan for. A good example is a murder mystery I read years ago [either Sayers or Heyer, don't remember which] that _wasn’t_, because, as it happens, I do know how to kill with an empty syringe. If you write the scene, or the whole book, so that a reader can enjoy it even if they know what’s coming, it matters a lot less [and makes it a good re-read, too]. If you don’t, some percentage will end up throwing it against a wall – and they are going to be the loudest voices at review time, too.

By: pcwrede

pcwrede — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 13:36:53 +0000

Mary – I did say a freight train, and I’ve never seen one of those with windows… But ignoring that part: seeing her son looking out the train window will have different effects depending on what she knows and exactly what she sees, but either way, the train is no longer an irrelevant and annoying time-waster. It becomes a plot point, which you can tell because once she sees the kid on the train, Mom no longer has to go wherever she was going and the suspense of “will she get there in time?” is gone. Either the kid is on the train because he’s been kidnapped, or he’s on the train because it was a great way of getting away from the kidnappers for a bit; either way, the next action point is probably going to be at the train’s next stop (unless Mom can do one of those Indiana Jones maneuvers and hop aboard a moving passenger train).

Ben – You’re welcome, but the time-constraint thing is really tangential to the whole keeping-secrets thing. Suspense and secrets overlap sometimes, and often appear together, but they’re not really the same thing.

By: Ben

Ben — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 23:49:12 +0000

Your point about time constraints in this post is useful info. This was not directly spoken about in the panel about secrets this morning. So, thanks.

By: Mary

Mary — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 20:37:33 +0000

Humm. What if her son looks out the window of the train?

By: Chicory

Chicory — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 21:22:04 +0000

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks.

By: pcwrede

pcwrede — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 21:54:20 +0000

Mary – A story-related reason for dragging out the car trip would usually have to involve a subplot. If, for instance, there’s a subplot involving the heroine’s rocky relationship with her brother, who borrowed the care the day before and didn’t bother to fill the gas tank, and she runs out of gas on her way to rescue her son – that would be story-related. Running out of gas still doesn’t move the main storyline (rescuing the son) forward, but complicating a different plot thread does still count as story-related.

Chicory – I think you’re right, but I still wouldn’t like it. Making Mom run late when she has an important deadline to meet does create suspense, especially if one is doing the multiple-viewpoint thing and can show the villains creeping up on the boy…but having to stop for a train is awfully arbitrary. It’s the sort of thing you can maybe get away with once in a novel, but you’re really better off coming up with some other reason to delay her that would be more story-related. Best of all would be a lose-lose dilemma – just as she’s leaving, she gets a call from the hospital saying that her daughter needs her to provide a transfusion, and now she has to decide which child to go save, because she can’t do both.

By: Chicory

Chicory — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:01:45 +0000

Hmmm… thinking about the train/false suspense. It seems to me that part of the reason that particular scenario isn’t suspense is the lack of time limit.

If the mother knew the kidnapper was already on his way to the school and she only has fifteen minutes to beat him there and save her son, or if author switches scenes (while the train clunks by) to show the kidnapper creeping up on the little boy, then the scene turns into real suspense, right?

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 15:49:49 +0000

Could you give an example of a story-related reason to drag out the tension? I think I follow you, but I’m a little unclear on that part.

P.S. I just finished re-reading Thirteenth Child. I can’t wait for the second part of the trilogy now more than ever!!!